Yesterday while driving to the local park to take my morning run, I was listening to one of our very popular radio stations here in our delightful city and during the news break for the station, I heard this story “woman who suspected her husband of cheating, found out that not only was he cheating, but he had gotten married at Disney world (no less) and posted his new pictures of his lovely bride on his Facebook page for all too see”, the reporter goes on to say ” the lovely new couple shared their wedding photos like any of us would for friends and family who couldn’t attend the ceremony, to allow them to share in their most special day”. WTF! Ahhhh…romance and wedded bliss. A dream wedding in fairytale heaven, who could ask for anything more? I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it. If only the other wife could have been invited.
A few months ago, I was in the beauty salon getting my gray colored out (again), and chatting with the ladies in the nearby styling chairs and we were all listening to a middle aged woman who was telling us that she had recently married for the first time. A sweet story of dating, love and romance. She said she dated her military beau for quite some time before they tied the knot. She started off sounding like the honeymoon phase was still in full effect. Within 20 minutes and after some probing questions from yours truly, she shared that she felt “something wasn’t quite right” in her marriage and began to act on her woman’s intuition. She started with the computers in her home. One day, while doing her “due diligence” she searched through the history of recent sites and found Facebook and another dating site, neither of which, she was a member of nor had she searched for them. They had no children so she felt this was “odd”. Continuing on, she logged onto Facebook and being the true wife that she is, she tried several codes and finally found the one that would open his account. Much to her surprise, she confirmed that her husband was on that site and had several female friends on his page. Not really a big deal but then she noticed that his profile said “single” and seeking “women and friends”. Without much delay, she continued her hunt for information, on to the dating site and again cracked the code for the password and learned that her Country serving, fatigue wearing, good husband was fully engaged in something that had nothing to do with searching for WMD’s! He had another life of dating and soliciting women while at work and at home in her absence. I won’t go into detail here about what she said happened but suffice to say, it wasn’t pretty.
I have my own personal details of internet dating that I have reserved for our upcoming book in humorous, sad and cynical detail. The trials and tribulations of trying to find love in cyberspace is an exercise in character building to put it mildly. Still, I want to share a few pros and cons: The “pros” of internet dating are that it provides an easy relaxed way of meeting people, you can control how much they invade your life, you can ask lots of questions, create and imaginary you and make yourself seem pretty incredible. Its cheap, so some men have said “its a way to get to know someone without always having to pay for dinner and drinks, plus you get to check out many ladies at once”. And ladies, the same applies to you! Also, you can post pictures of yourself that may or may not look like you today or even look like you ten years ago and that person who is starting to adore you will never be the wiser. That is unless and until the big “can I take you on a date?” question is finally posed, then you have to start going to the gym to work off that belly, start popping those diet pills, picking up the Just for Men or Clairol coloring kits, or buying up the face creams to get rid of those lines and dark spots that don’t show in your picture. It is at this point where you may have to disclose to your potential date that you don’t look “exactly like your picture” or “you’ve gained a few pounds over the last few months”. Or what will happen is when you finally see them at the cafe or coffee shop, you find yourself stunned, feeling “bamboozled and led astray” and searching for words that will help you escape, like “I just got a call my uncle is in the hospital dying of cancer and I have to head to the airport right now!”. This is only part of the “cons”.
Men and women I have spoken to, have much to say about their own nightmares and surprises about internet and social network dating and they don’t sound nothing like the “blissful” married stories on that other dating site (eHarmony). We divulge more “cons” and stories in “Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?”, but in the interim, ladies and gentlemen, keep your partners close and those computers and passwords closer!
Not to be misled, I am certain there were other sides to both of the above stories, however this version is what was shared with me. This is the only version I can attest to first hand. Don’t shoot the messenger! I also am fully aware that cheating whether on cyberspace or at the office, occurs with men and women. I am equally sure that one can find love on the internet. I will write about those people just as soon as I meet them. I just want to do my good deed for this week by sharing these delicious tidbits, and remind everyone, that Internet dating is here to stay and it is in our best interest to take note.
Oh yeah….one more thing for those married or monogamous daters, please remember that the “singles” dating sites are off limits to you! That is of course, unless your spouse is in total agreement and has your passwords so that everyone can be on the same page at the same time. I’m just serious.
